Posts Tagged ‘Dr. Sanam Hafeez’

ARE YOU DATING A NARCISSIST?

Thursday, March 9th, 2017

With more and more women turning to dating apps and websites for introductions, the images of the men they are being presented rarely match the individual they meet.  What begins as an “immediate connection” soon develops into something too good to be true.  According to Dr. Sanam Hafeez, founder and Clinical Director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services and  teaching faculty member at Columbia University Teacher’s College, narcissists are found everywhere and in varying degrees.  According to Dr. Hafeez, the current “swipe right” dating culture only feeds their agendas; therefore, it is important to not only understand who they are, but know how to identify them.

What is narcissism?  Many mental health specialists agree that a narcissist is an individual who has an excessive interest or admiration of himself;  this “false self” is often one created to cope with pain from early childhood. “Narcissists are disconnected from their true selves and are constantly working to appear better than others. They have an idealized self-image and are in love with that image which hides their true wounded self,” says Dr. Hafeez.

Red Flags

1. Narcissists are devastatingly charming. They are incredibly upbeat and bombard you with compliments. Immediately you are disarmed and captivated.  With a quick wit, they are able to read people and know how to appeal to theem. “Narcissists are great at building rapport quickly; however, they are doing so to serve themselves first and foremost. In other words, they feed off the attention, admiration and validation of others so they charm with an agenda,” cautions Dr. Hafeez.

2. In their mind, it’s really all about them.   While a narcissist appears to be interested in someone else, he will always return the conversation to himself. “These are not team players. They look to their partner to be the source of their happiness and much of that happiness comes from getting approval or even sympathy,” explains Dr. Hafeez. “Early on in their childhoods the narcissist didn’t get the nurturing they needed to feel secure. They were neglected or made to feel as if they were bad, so they spend their time and energy showing how great they are,” she adds.
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DO YOU HAVE POST-ELECTION STRESS DISORDER?

Thursday, November 10th, 2016

post-election-stress-disorder

Regardless of whom you voted for in the 2016 Presidential election, there is one thing we all can agree on:  the process was terribly stressful! For the past year people have been heated on social media, blocking and un-friending those on “the other side,” arguing within their families, and fighting with their spouses.  Now that the election is over, half of America is feeling the stress associated with loss. Dr. Sanam Hafeez, a NYC licensed clinical psychologist and the founder and Clinical Director of Comprehensive Consultation Psychological Services, shares shares the signs of Post-Election Stress Disorder and how to manage its symptoms.

Your stomach is in knots!  According to Dr. Hafeez, stressing out about the future of our country can certainly manifest in physical discomfort. When you ruminate about the worst-case scenario it can lead to stomach tension, nausea and lack of appetite. She advises taking a break from news coverage and discussion of the election results. “You want to be informed but YOU want to be in control of the news you are seeking out. Select one media outlet that you want to get your news from. Check in the morning and then focus on what you have to do that day.”

You can’t focus!  Your mind wanders and you keep worrying about the next four years of your life. These wandering thoughts lead to a lack of focus. Dr. Hafeez explains that when we are fixated on a thought and are in a state of worry, it is difficult to give full attention to anything else. Her advice is to decompress — going for a thirty minute walk, exercising, meditating by lying still and focusing on your breath, coloring in a coloring book or playing catch with a ball.  “You want to choose tasks that are repetitive, pleasurable, calming and don’t require a lot of focus,” she suggests. (more…)

IS YOUR CELLPHONE MAKING YOU LESS ATTRACTIVE?

Sunday, October 23rd, 2016

selfieSmartphones are vital to our daily lives; in fact, research has shown that the average person checks their phone 85 times a day and spends a total of five hours per day using the device to browse the web or use certain apps. For many, our smartphone is the first thing we look at in the morning and the last thing we check at bedtime. Although quick glances at our phone may seem harmless, it can in fact be affecting us physically, mentally and emotionally. We caught up with some experts who help explain the ugly side of excessive cellphones use.

Poor Posture:  When we look down at our cellphones we are straining our necks and slouching our shoulders. Doing this can cause some serious damage to our overall posture even leading us to lose up to an inch to an inch and a half of height. “I see up to 10 patients a week complaining of severe neck and shoulder pain. When asked how often they use their phones the typical response is all the time. When pain becomes chronic and severe, surgery has to be considered,” explains Dr. Richard Samperisi, Co-Founder of Campus Chiropractic Center at Florida International University. (more…)